This NEW Journey - they call Home Schooling

This has not been so difficult to decide as my decission to leave nursing ( I do look back and wonder how I ever questioned it...) I feel that in time this will look similar. I am more balanced now it does not feel like quite so wighty of a decission and I don't feel quite the same intense aproval after making it. More even keeled this time.

I am listening to beautiful music on the Holy Experience web page. I have been uplifted and edified as I have read from this womans blog. She writes so beautifuly and speaks to my hear with photographs my expression of art. It shows a love of motherhood and womanhood that feels so close and real that it is like having a heart to heart and knowing you have someone that understands you. I found it it is "The Gift by David Nevue from the album O Come Emmanuel

Ann Voskamp writes about homeschooling

"He called this family to take up the road less traveled, the one marked “Home education.” Though many had gone before, winnowing a worn and true path, I confess, we felt like pioneers, forging new ground. (But isn’t each family pioneers in their own right? We are each father, mother for the first time, traversing the parenting prairie with these children for the first time. Where are we going? How do we get there and what do we need for the trek? Raising up children is new territory for each of us.) You wrote, asking for some markers we found on our homeschooling trail? I can share guideposts we found along our journey, but I understand that you begin from a different destination with a different past….and you may have different vistas in mind…so yes, use the postcards of our journey only to inspire your very own. ....

"He called this family to take up the road less traveled, the one marked “Home education.” Though many had gone before, winnowing a worn and true path, I confess, we felt like pioneers, forging new ground. (But isn’t each family pioneers in their own right? We are each father, mother for the first time, traversing the parenting prairie with these children for the first time. Where are we going? How do we get there and what do we need for the trek? Raising up children is new territory for each of us.) You wrote, asking for some markers we found on our homeschooling trail? I can share guideposts we found along our journey, but I understand that you begin from a different destination with a different past….and you may have different vistas in mind…so yes, use the postcards of our journey only to inspire your very own."

- Ann Voskamp

What have I felt? Lead? Guided? Moved... I remember my feeling around having a homebirth. Feeling so strongly about it but being so scared to do it on my own knowing I needed Jeremy's support to know we were in it together - no pointing fingers if something "went wrong". I again needed this love. His faith in me, in us, in God who would deliver us.

I often have people comment on my hands beeing full as I juggle groceries a baby on one hip two boys swing at the end of thecheckout and me fumbling through my purse. "Three boys?! "

Oh how I love them. Oh how tired I am tofya. How spent I am. I wish I had more to give one more kiss for their foreheads one more laugh for the little one who has learned to escape ffrom his bed one more smile for an excited son who just wants to build one more ship with his lego. A caress of my baby's forehead and sweeping of his golden locks when he wakes in a few hours when I am just starting tothink this will be the night that he sleeps through until morning. My life is busy it is full. But was it ever empty or easy? When I had one I was over my head. When Noah was born my world changed and I became truly aware of my frailty of my humaness, my weakness, birthing was beautiful and empowering, but motherhood is such an enormous undertaking. I can not do it alone there is this little person that depends on me and reminds me how much I need help from on high to raise him healthy strong kind honest ready to serve the Lord.

I remeber when we lived at my parents the entrance to our suite was through the workshop. Noah was surrounded by tools, "the Tractor" our broken down ridem lawn mower. As he was just learning to walk he would toddle over the cement or uneven grass with srewdrivers in his hands. I just kept praying he would keep those beautiful blue eyes because no matter how many times i took them away there were always new ones to find. How to keep him safe how to teach him right?

My mind races is so many directions that I find it hard to right anything of value. I wish I could just slow things down and be able to do justice to the good in my life of the trilas of this journey of the making of a mother a family a friendship of the truest kind a love that binds us.

I just responded to a crash of splintering glass. Was that outside or downstairs. I headed down Noah was in the bathromm standing at the toilet

"Sorry mom" He spoke gently

" I didn't know it was breakable. I was just looking if there were any treasures in the garbage."

The shards of glass from a burnt out bulb all over the floor.

thanks you for enough love to wipe up the broken glass and speak softly about not searching for treasures in the bathroom garbage or garbages period. A fatal error I made this summer was reading : Ben's Robot by Robin Stevenson 2010

I flush the toilet after him which he forgot to do again and do not mention it or scold him. Good night. Please go to sleep so I can too.

I decided to homeschool.. NO ...WE decided to homeschool. It was after an emotional rllercoaster of a conversation but it ended well. It s kindergarten . I'm sure Noah or Jarom could start 1st grade right now and be alright - so no stress ... right...

I'll write more soon

Bottom line thank you for tender mercies, good firends, and sunny days at the beach with the boys when schools in.